This was a hard week, but I'm turning it around.

I have been very lucky to have made it this far in shelter in place life without struggling too much.  The first time I had to venture out I really had a moment.  I had saved all my errands for one day, and being in too many public places when the shelter in place order were new was really stressful. I had gloves while in business, but then realized if I paid cash and put the cash in my purse, "it" could be in my purse.  That kind of thing.  I was not worried, but trying to be compliant.  Remember when we thought younger people didn't get sick?  It's a good thing I thought that in the beginning because if I had known young people could be sick, it would have been too much.  I thought of my helper's husband and father in law, who both have health issues, not of myself, my immediate family.
My kids were all unemployed by the second week, but taken care of one way or the other, at least short term.  My husband got laid off.  But I have a stable business taking care of retirement horses in addition to this business and we are doing fine.  The lay off was expected and ok, really.  The looming down the road thoughts, we turned away from was, if the economy shifts and construction falters.  
I stayed away from the news when I realized that stats and stories and politics only made this all too much to bear.  I felt guilty trying to look away.  I'd tune in for a half hour, then go do something else.  
Spent time with my 16 year old son, who is suddenly underfoot and oddly talkative.  
I work, I really like to work.  I pride myself and 110% enjoy over delivering.  I need a tribe of women I enjoy here to serve and I am happy building it.  I go to sleep happy and wake up excited about my day.  I have had one little challenge after another with the CA suppliers shut down, but I found some angels and that challenging time became a blessing.  I have been BUSY and excited about it.  For sure it hasn't been super smooth here in the office, but i was doing ok.  The mid week, last week, I woke up not so excited about my day.  For no obvious reason, I stumbled and tripped where I am usually purposeful and sure footed.  My husband pointed out I hadn't taken a whole day off while in town since before the holidays.  I didn't believe him at first, then I thought about it more.